You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
