she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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