My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
