I accidentally burped into my bong.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
