you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Randomize
