Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Panties = found
Randomize
