i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
