Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
