so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
this hospital has no fireball
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
