she kept yelling 'call me bella'
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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