Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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