My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
