Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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