she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
