I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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