I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
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