you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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