if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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