hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
