Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You need Xanax blowdarts
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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