just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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