These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Come on in and take your pants off
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