ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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