I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Randomize
