I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
