did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
