I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
