this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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