That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
