I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
