When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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