would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
