Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
