who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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