Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
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