I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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