his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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