i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Dicks are not precious.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
