i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
