You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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