So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
