I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
