I puked a lego.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
So much rum. So many feels.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
