If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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