That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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