Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
