I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
