are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
