I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
