Christians are straight up FREAKS
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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