I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
