I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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